


A New Family

by vands38



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Adira-centric, Adoption, Character Study, Coming Out, Episode: s03e08 The Sanctuary, Found Family, Gen, Not Beta Read, Queer Families, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vands38/pseuds/vands38
Summary: some self-indulgent wallowing in the a+++ found family feels from episode 3x08
Relationships: Adira Tal & Hugh Culber & Paul Stamets, Adira Tal/Gray Tal, Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets
Comments: 30
Kudos: 131





	A New Family

There are some days when the only person in their head is Adira. Days when the symbionts are so quiet that Adira can hear themself think, and they don’t always like what their thoughts say back. Those days are the hardest.

The next time Gray comes to visit, Adira asks him why he hasn’t been around. 

“Because you need to see,” he says with a knowing smile – a sad smile, as if their separation pains him too – before he disappears again.

Adira is angry, and lonely, and has no idea what it is that they’re meant to be _seeing_. 

*

The static in their head gets quieter when they’re working, but as time goes on, Adira thinks it might be less to do with the work itself and more to do with the steady presence beside them.

Adira’s not used to having parents but the way Stamets preens when they do well and the way Culber fusses over them when they’re mildly inconvenienced starts to feel like a care Adira can only describe as parental. Adira doesn’t trust it, and doesn’t understand it, but they can’t deny that it’s nice to have someone (or two someone’s) looking out for them. 

Besides, now Gray has gone, Stamets is pretty much the only company they have anyway. 

Their closeness is probably why it feels so jarring when Stamets calls them “she” so far into their acquaintance. Adira had begun to think of him as family and hearing someone so familiar say something so _unfamiliar_ felt out of place, like a plastic chip in a turbine. They don’t mind so much when it’s strangers using the words but Stamets _knows_ them and if he’s going to keep inserting himself into their life then he ought to know the right way to address them. So Adira steals their courage, prepares to be rejected or misunderstood, as they explain “they, not she”. 

Adira is not expecting the “okay” in response – steady, and sure, and unquestioning – Stamets smiling and nodding in that quietly supportive manner that he has. 

“Okay,” he says, like it really _is_. 

Adira smiles, overcome with relief, and returns to their work. 

*

The work turns out to be very engaging and Adira barely notices the time pass until they are waking up to Stamets and Culber’s quiet conversation and the gentle placement of a jacket over their shoulders. It smells like Stamets – homely, comforting, engaging – like the excitement of a new engine piece that you know is going to fit right at home. 

The two of them discuss Adira like their parents used to and for a minute, in the hazy edges of their consciousness, the figures become one and the same. But then, Stamets sounds proud – boasting about Adira like a smug parent at a private school – and it’s enough to separate the realities. Adira’s own parents never stopped pressuring them long enough to notice their success. 

Adira awakens fully and the parental bickering continues, much to their baffled amusement. They want to ask – _Why are you doing this? Why do you care?_ – but fears that it would sound insecure and childish (and ungrateful to boot). 

_Does it matter why so long as they do it?_

The scientist in them answers that it matters greatly, but they are tired, and too busy counting their blessings to ponder philosophy. They smile as their pseudo-parents bicker over whether or not they are a ‘child’ – using ‘they’ instead of ‘she’ as easily as if they had been doing so all along – and saves them the inconvenience of deciding by taking themself to bed.

*

That night Adira lies awake, trying to communicate with the symbionts – 

_Don’t trust them_ , Tovar says. _They just want your intellect_. 

_They’re Starfleet officers_ , the Admiral says. _They have no ulterior motives_. 

_Perhaps_ , Kasha says, _they want to be parents just as much as you want to be a child_.

“I’m not a _child_ ,” Adira retorts bitterly. “I don’t need _parents_. I don’t _need_ anyone.”

 _Want, not need,_ Kasha corrects.

There is a chorus of agreement in their head and Adira falls asleep, angry and conflicted. 

*

Adira finds Culber in the mess hall the next day and sits down at his table without invitation. He grins as if he’s actually pleased to see them and starts asking after their day when Adira interrupts – “I need to know why.”

“I’m sorry,” Culber says with a furrowed brow. “I don’t understand. ‘Why’ what?”

His face is patient and understanding, without a lick of judgement, as it always is. They don’t understand that either. Normally people can’t wait to be rid of them. They talk too much. Know too much. People don’t like that. 

“Why do you like me?” they ask. It seems like a good place to start.

Culber tilts his head, his expression carefully neutral, like he’s talking to a patient. “Why would you ask that, Adira? You’re a wonderful, kind, intelligent person –”

Adira flusters at the praise and rediverts him before he can continue. “I mean – you and Stamets. You’ve taken me in. You’re being _parental_. I don’t understand it.”

“Ah,” Culber says. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, and then lets out a deep sigh. When he speaks, it’s more distant than Adira expected, speaking in generalisations, like he’s giving a lecture to a squadron of cadets. “A lot of people in Starfleet consider their crew to be their family. We can be away from home for years at a time and it’s hard to keep permanent attachments offship. Oftentimes your colleagues aren’t just your colleagues but also friends, lovers, mortal enemies…” He huffs a laugh. “That was a joke,” he clarifies. 

Adira grimaces but tries to make it look friendly.

Culber shakes his head with a laugh and continues, “Stamets and I always wanted to have children but with the life we lead it’s… difficult, to say the least. We never found the time. Then, you came along.”

His smile is soft and welcoming. He knows better than to reach across and take their hand as Adira has seen him do to others. _It’s nice_ , they think, _to be known by someone outside my head_.

“Now, obviously, you are fully capable of looking after yourself and might not want us in your life, in which case I totally understand and we can –”

“I want you,” Adira clarifies hastily. They blush and duck their head. “I mean, if it’s no trouble –”

“It’s no trouble,” Stamets says, sliding smoothly into the conversation and giving his husband a kiss on the cheek as he sits. “So we’re adopting Adira?” he asks, as casually as he would if they were talking about data or circuit boards. 

Culber smiles back at him, blinking politely as if to say ‘did you have to interrupt so bluntly?’ as Stamets steals a chocolate brownie from his plate. “We were discussing that, yes. Though we’ve yet to discuss if we’d like it to be a formal arrangement.”

Stamets nods, swallowing his stolen food, and turns back to Adira. “Up to you entirely, of course, but you can always kip in our spare room for a while until you –”

“They might not want to live with us, Paul –”

Stamets – _Paul_ – holds his hands up in defense. “I just thought I’d offer! I’ve been in those cadet dorms before and the _stink_ of them alone –”

Adira smiles as they continue to bicker. Culber and Stamets have been nothing but kind but it’s never been too overwhelming. They imagine what it would be like to have a _home_ and not just a bunk. Late night music practise with Stamets. Board games with Culber. Dinners, and movie nights, and whatever else families are meant to do. “You can make it official,” they decide. 

The two of them drop their bickering and turn to Adira with wide eyes and gleeful expressions and Adira’s heart is filled with warmth at the sight. This was the right decision, they know it. 

“Okay,” Hugh says, barely restraining his grin as he holds up a finger, “if I promise to keep it short and sweet, may I please hug you and welcome you to the family?”

Adira huffs a laugh and nods their head and before they know it, they’re being encircled in the arms of their new fathers – the two men laughing and crying and clinging – and Adira thinks they might be close to understanding what it is Gray wanted them to see. 

Summoned by their thoughts, Gray flickers into sight just as Hugh and Paul are stepping back. “I told you,” Gray says, with that knowing smile of his. “You just had to see for yourself.”

“I understand,” Adira murmurs to him as Hugh and Paul start eagerly discussing arrangements. “You wanted me to see that there is a place for me here.”

Gray takes their hand and they missed him – they missed him _so much_ – “I didn’t want you to get lost in your head, in _us_ , and miss out on all this.”

The entire crew are gathered around them now – Saru calling for a spontaneous celebration and Keyla coming back from the replicator with tall glasses of champagne.

Adira smiles at Tilly’s exciting flailing and Paul and Hugh’s lovestruck expression and can’t find it within themself to resent Gray for his departure, not when he found them _this_. “Thank you,” they whisper.

Gray nudges them with a sweet smile, “You’re welcome. Go have fun, I’ll see you later.”

Adira smiles, knowing his words to be true, as they turn back to their family and Paul sneaks them a chocolate brownie behind Hugh’s back. 

Adira laughs and licks the smear of chocolate from their fingertips, finally feeling like they’re coming home. 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://vands38.tumblr.com/)


End file.
